Drunk Australian Tossed Out of Pub, Goes to Ride 16-foot Crocodile, Then Returns to Pub

The title says it all, really. A man in Western Australia decided that, although he was too drunk to be allowed to stay in a bar, he was in fine condition to go hop a fence at a wildlife park and try to ride on a saltwater crocodile. Although injured, he survived:

He received surgery to serious wounds to his leg and is recovering in hospital, police say.

He had been chucked out of a pub in the town of Broome for being too drunk.

The man, who was not named by the police, climbed over a fence and tried to sit on the 800kg (1,800lb) saltwater crocodile.

“Fatso has taken offence to this and has spun around and bit this man on the right leg,” Sgt Roger Haynes of Broome police told journalists.

“The crocodile has let him go and he’s been able to scale the fence again and leave the wildlife park.” …

[Said the park’s owner,] “If it had been warmer and Fatso was more alert, we would have been dealing with a fatality.”

Then again, it appears from the story there are no actual witnesses to this feat — the man just disappeared from the pub, and then came back a little while later after some creature had taken a couple chunks out of his leg. I wonder how they’re so sure about which crocodile it was that the guy apparently mistook for a rodeo pony. Unless there is some further proof that it was actually Fatso, I’m wonder a bit if the bites, in reality, did not come from one of the park’s full-grown salties, but rather were inflicted by something much smaller.

After all, if you were stupid enough to drunkenly climb into a cage with a baby crocodile or an aggressive monitor, and got bitten by it, wouldn’t you later try to claim that you’d taken on the biggest, baddest croc possible? I know I would.