You can actually pay someone for Halo 3 lessons. It’s like hiring a tennis pro to help you work on your swing, only you don’t have to go to the trouble of getting up off your couch.
The average market price seems to be around $35 hour, though if you want the best coaching, you’ll have to shell out $50 for a lesson. For the price-conscious Halo3 student, however, there are economy options. Such as hiring this enterprising 13 year old for the bargain rate of $10 an hour. (And for the status-conscious, you can even buy a year’s virtual friendship with a pro for only $35.)
While the websites are not “normal” professional-looking, they are probably well designed for the target market. They come complete with online payment, Halo Resumes, customer testimonials, and even little windows to click on to “Chat with a Customer Service Rep.”
Some of them seem to even be getting an education in supply and demand. Such as when there’s a shortage on a product, slide up the demand curve:
I’ve been doing lessons for Halo 2 and Halo 3 for nearly a year now and have nevered [sic] raised my prices before. However, I’ve gotten to the point where I have a constant backlog of lessons so I’ve decided to raise my prices.
Kids these days. Back in my day, there was no one you could go to for lessons on beating Bowser in Mario Bros. or shooting lessons for Duck Hunt. (Free tip: to improve your accuracy, put your gun so it actually touches the TV screen. Also, don’t shoot the dog.)
They even have helpful tactical jumping lessons. It’s like parkour for people without upper or lower body strength.
And while I recognize these 13 year olds could probably kick my butt at Halo, I do think I could be competitive with them in the Halo3 Services market. No, not as a Halo coach, no one would hire me for that. Instead, I’ll offer, for a small fee, the once in a lifetime opportunity to play Halo with a real live girl.
Judging from the Halo players I run into, the demand is certainly there. And it is most definitely an underserved market.
p.s. Hey Michael, want to go into business with me? You can offer lessons in erudite trash talk, you’re the undisputed master of that.
Thank you Georgia. Thank you for tricking me into watching a video about HOW TO JUMP BETTER IN HALO!
You’re welcome, James. Now that’ll be $12.99.