The Supreme Court is almost certainly controlled by Devil-worshipping wildebeests!  Everyone knows that ”persons” are created by God.  But very few people are willing to admit that because corporations are not created by God, they must not be people.  But I will not be silenced!  God’s law leads to only one simple conclusion . . .

Citizens United was wrongly decided.

. . .  Ok, so I haven’t actually gone off the deep end.  I just decided to try my hand at writing a “typical incendiary blog post.”  Apparently, if I follow a simple formula, I can get a lot of people to visit the blog:

This sentence contains a provocative statement that attracts the readers’ attention, but really only has very little to do with the topic of the blog post. This sentence claims to follow logically from the first sentence, though the connection is actually rather tenuous. This sentence claims that very few people are willing to admit the obvious inference of the last two sentences, with an implication that the reader is not one of those very few people. This sentence expresses the unwillingness of the writer to be silenced despite going against the popular wisdom. This sentence is a sort of drum roll, preparing the reader for the shocking truth to be contained in the next sentence.

This sentence contains the thesis of the blog post, a trite and obvious statement cast as a dazzling and controversial insight.

The post is pretty dead-on accurate, as are the hilarious accompanying comments.

-Michael

[via Kottke]